Promises, Promises

You said you'd never hurt me
You lied
Promised you'd always be here
You weren't
Why does love have to be hard?
Why can't it just be easy?
You let me love you, but kept your guard up
I gave you everything
You shut down
I was all but invisible
There was never talk of forever
Never seemed too concerned with my hopes & dreams
No major plans
I love you just became words
So many actions contradicting those words
I told you once
"I was fine before you.."
"I'll be fine when you're gone."
Maybe deep down I knew I could never keep you
I guess I knew all along you'd break me
I'm sorry you're hurting now,
But I guess you're finally getting to see..
Seeing now what you put me through
So, you question how I could move on so quickly.
My answer is this:
It just happened
No bows, bells or whistles
No spitefulness
No need to hang onto someone else to forget you.. 
Just a simple twist of events that lead me here...
Actions speak louder than words
Yours pushed me away...

Moving On?

   When did there become an acceptable time table to move on from a relationship? "It's too soon." "I can't believe you!" "Already?"  Trust me, I tried to talk myself out of it. I thought I needed time. Apparently I got just enough time, then BOOM. The whole thing is, about moving on, I wasn't the one that didn't know what I wanted or where I was going. I'm not broken.. That's what he keeps telling me. I've let too many people in my life influence how I feel about myself. I used to be confident & I lost that girl somewhere. I think, maybe she might be coming back though.

   Do I hurt over the loss of someone I love. Of course. He wasn't a bad person, he just made some bad decisions. Wasn't all his fault. You can ask any poor sap that's dated me, I'm a pain in the ass sometimes. It really just didn't work out.. There's no major drama or fall out. Two people who fell madly in love once drifted apart.

I think my life may be a sad country song...

Blah Blah Blah

I have a serious case of the mood swings :/ I'm a mess. I guess this is what happens when you're scared of something you don't know or understand. You want to believe so much that getting hurt isn't going to happen again. But you're heart's so broken & battered you would rather run away then risk feeling like this ever again.. It's like a hangover.. You had a blast, now you're regretting it, you'll never do it again, then sooner than later it's the same thing all over. One big vicious cycle.