Wrecked

Sometimes, I don't know up from down.. I'm so twisted up inside I can't think straight. I'm happy, mostly.. My career is taking off, I know who I am, what I want out of life, & my daughter's father has decided to step up & be part of her life.. On the down side.. I'm incredibly lonely. I love my kid & I love being around her, but sometimes I need adult time. I mean, I have friends &.coworkers & they're great, but I need to be held. Kissed. Loved.. I'm not good by myself. I never have been. I'm not desperate or anything,. Just nice to be wanted sometimes..

Situation Update

My daughter's father had decided in the past month that his daughter is his. He doesn't want a paternity test & he's not fighting anything in court.. Weird, right?

Anyway, we seem to be getting along ok, so far. A couple small spats, but no big deal..

He sees his daughter a couple times a week. He's been giving me gas money so he can see her.

We're 4 days away from court. Had to fire my lawyer for charging me $2125.21 to do paperwork, accomplish nothing, & then blame exbf for not cooperating. He charged me $750 to do paperwork that took me about an hr & I didn't know what I was doing & legal-speak makes my brain hurt.. Yet someone who's been a family law attorney for 16+ yrs takes 5 hrs to do the same paperwork. Dbag. Anyway, hoping court is painless & I can get on with my life. I'd like to stop relying/mooching off my friends now.

I have amazing friends.. Despite all the drama, I'm a lucky girl :)