Five Days Before Our Ever After Begins

Everything is done! We're down to picking family up from the airport, rehearsal Friday, and then the wedding is Sunday! I'm excited. I'm also very tired. I'm going to miss my sweet girl for 5 days, I've never been away from her for more than 48hrs. For our sanity, we need this vacation! We have a house to buy & a grooming business to get started! 2014 has been pretty fantastic. Can't wait for 2015 to be better.

The 60 Day Mad Rush!

I feel like I'm so far behind! Hopefully today, I'll have a final decision on my wedding flowers, have our ceremony done, & my vows written. Cake appointment is Wednesday. Still waiting on my bridesmaids to get their shit together :) (fml lol)

Ahhhhhhh

58 days!

<3

#Warriors

The best way I have to describe the (Dudley and Bob) #Warriors is: We're a bunch of over glorified radio groupies :)

We're this dysfunctional group of people that found each other on the internet after having to give Bobby Bones a lesson in why you don't mess with our radio show lol (some of them predate this, I do not)

I had a rough go during my pregnancy with my daughter. Half because hormone changes make me a psycho & half because I was dealing with the emotionally abusive man-child  that knocked me up.

After it was all said & done, I was a postpartum depressed wreck. I felt like I was drowning. My ex did quite the number on me emotionally & mentally. Other than work & doing the mommy thing, I had no life. Very few friends. Although, the few that stuck around also came to our rescue.

That's where the #Warriors came in. First, Amanda, then Nancy; Erika & Justin. Logan even drove me to work after my car broke down once..

Y'all let me be a crazy wreck. Never told me to shut up or to stop feeling sorry for myself (at least not to my face ;D).

Even CJ, he stopped me at an event, gave me a hug & told me to stop being so hard on myself <3

Who would've thought a radio station & it's fans would've been a big part in what brought me back from the darkest place I've ever been.

Thank you for hating all the things I hate. For your mean spirited humor. And your incredibly inappropriate shenanigans.

Now you can go vomit :)

Love you bitches

Shit Just Got Real

A little over 60 days! Ahhhhhhhh!

Alterations started today.

Finishing wedding music, ceremony, & vows.

Still need a cake.

Need to order B's flower girl dress & pick the ties for the groomsmen.

And I need a new bathing suit for the honeymoon!

Hopefully, our passports will be in soon.

Holy cow...7 months is flying by...

I guess the next question is do I remove the baby blocker before the wedding or wait until we come back?

Oh & we're moving in Oct right after B's 3rd bday.

There's so much going on!

Parenthood, Toddler Tantrums, & Weddings

If you're not willing to abandon your ego, spontaneity, late nights dragging in when the sun is coming up, bar hoping, sleeping in, & getting anywhere in a timely manner... then you shouldn't be a parent :)

It's stormy & gross outside. B & I are cuddling & watching Despicable Me. Best day off <3

I'll never understand people that don't love their children. I had roommates that were like that. They were so bad I had to testify against them in court.

I'm constantly hugging, squeezing, tickling, squishing, cuddling, & loving on my kid. It's gross lol

She's a pain in my neck. She's hard headed & she makes me crazy. But it's because she's 2.

Even when she's throwing one of her many tantrums, she makes me laugh & it's really hard to parent your child when you're laughing at her.

I've never spent more than 48hrs away from her (that was hard enough) & our honeymoon is 5 days (ahhhhhhh!) I probably won't enjoy myself since I'll be missing her so. She probably won't notice since Grandma Ward has so many fun things planned for them to do.

All of my mom friends laugh at me & tell me to let it go, that I deserve a break...

*le sigh*

90 days...

I'm looking forward to our wedding & honeymoon. I'm looking forward to 5 days on a beach with my husband :}

And, I'm super excited to make our little family official <3

Parenting

Being a parent means putting your children above everything else. It also means teaching them that they are responsible for their feelings, actions, and words. That they aren't the entitled to be the center of the universe. Luckily for me, I have an amazing partner.

There's something to that saying: "Anybody can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a daddy."

Wedding Workouts!

Holy crap y'all. My super fit bff is killing me with these workouts. We ran 3 miles around Lake Pflugerville on Monday. We stopped at every bridge & bench to do squats, pushups, & arm dip thingys (no, I have no idea what the correct effing term is & I also don't really care). My legs hate me. 7a workouts on my days off... ughhhh. Why can't I just have my 20 yro body back? Oh well. I just have to remember I'll be in a bikini for 5 days & I'm not planning on subjecting anyone to this hot mess! On the bright side my baby pooch is almost completely gone, my booty is ridiculous, & there's a visible difference in the amount of cellulite in my thighs. I feel good. I'm not as tired. Also, outside of work my mood has greatly improved!

103 days until I do!

♡

Road Trippin'

We have a road trip home to see my baby sister graduate soon. This drive is like 9-11 hrs. We've never had BMad in the car this long before and had to keep her entertained. My little girl isn't much for sitting still. Thankfully, I have Pinterest to help me come up with ideas to keep her entertained!

Wedding Workouts!

I'm 4'10" & I weigh 118lbs, I'm miniature sized! Lol

My wedding dress is strapless, a corset back, & technically a size too small. However, it only needs to be alerted in two places. Obviously since I'm almost little person status, it needs to be hemmed. The hips need to be brought in. Otherwise, it fits like a glove.

Wedding dresses are incredibly unforgiving & back fat isn't cute :)

I have two months before the alteration process needs to begin. Think we'll do the hemming first. After that we can do the hips & the bustle.

I'm starting my workout routine two days a week for an hour. I don't smoke cigarettes much anymore (once every couple weeks) & I basically got rid of soda (except when I forget & order a coke). I'm not really a junk food kind of girl anyway. 64oz of water. I'm going to kick my ass into wedding dress shape! This shouldn't be too hard since I'm not to far gone.

29

I'll be celebrating the final year of my 20's on Friday...

Between mommy things, wedding planning, & the crazy mad Spring rush at work, I wasn't expecting anything fancy for this birthday...

Boy did I underestimate my sweet fiance

♡

He came home today with a present!

I got an Opal & Diamond tennis bracelet!

Opal is B's birthstone.

He's so sweet & thoughtful. I'm such a lucky girl! September can't get here fast enough :D

I Found My Dress

Dress shopping with 2 of your 4 bridesmaids is fantastic, but it's still not enough people to corral a 2 1/2 yro. BMad had a good time. I'm exhausted. I'm really excited! Only things left are wedding party attire and the cake. Last but not least, B's "princess" (flower girl) dress. I think I'm going to get her a crown :) ♡♥♡

9/14/14

Holy crap. I'm getting married. I'm going to be a wife. So weird. It's like it's all finally sinking in.

*cue happy dance*

This is all so strange to me. Happily Ever After wasn't in the stars for me. I was told I was trash & unlovable. I had gotten to a point I was ok with the idea that I was going to be alone. I was content with it being just BMad & me.

Then comes along Thomas...

I didn't know this goofy guy from Ohio was everything I could've asked for.

Everything I didn't know I needed.

(Crap, this blog is going to make me cry.)

He makes me crazy & he makes me laugh.

He loves B like he's been here since her 1st breath. She loves him. They're absolutely partners in crime. Mischievous; those two.

He just fits. He did from the beginning. We knew it felt right. I fought it. He jumped in head first & then dragged me in with him.

Here we are :)

Happy is a weird place for me, but I like it.

We Have a Date!

There has now been a giant weight lifted off of my chest! We have a venue & a date.  We still have almost 5 months & everything is pretty much done! I'm so excited!

Btw Weddingwire.com is fabulous! I started with TheKnot.com, but ww is more user friendly.

Bridal appt next week!

All the pieces are falling into place ♡

Flowers

Every woman loves flowers & loves to get them.

That being said I've never received flowers as often as I get them from Thomas.

Part of the reason I knew he was a keeper; he's never bought me just plain, boring, easy roses.

He buys me flowers just because.

He even brings them to work sometimes ♡

Flowers - A.D.D.

Which leads me to wedding flowers...

Decisions, decisions

Orchids, lilies, & ....

This is why I need a florist's help! I'm so indecisive!

Look up my friend's flower shop!

Silver Mountain Floral Design

Wedding Things

We have an officiant, a photographer, a wedding party, a florist, & we've narrowed our search to 2 venues.

We did 10 hrs of wedding stuff yesterday with a 2 yro in tow!

We were exhausted!

I need to go dress shopping asap. We already know what the groomsman & the bridesmaids are wearing.

If only any of my bridesmaids had the same off days as I do!

We'll have a venue & date by Wednesday & then I can get my invitations ordered & mailied.

I'll be glad when all that's left are the I Do's :)~

I should be cleaning today to make up for yesterday, instead BMad & I are cuddling & watching an Ice Age Marathon ♡

Wedding Planning!

Now I know why people hire wedding planners...

I feel like 2 days a week with a toddler in tow isn't enough time to tour all the venues.
Our original venue ended up not working out. Still have more touring to do (Villa St. Claire & Hummingbird House.

I'm a little obsessed with Hummingbird House.. I couldn't have dreamt up a more perfect setting to marry my best friend.

Although, we're still looking.

It's really neat to see all the pictures in my head coming together to make the big picture.

As stressed out as I am, I'm incredibly giddy & excited. All my dreams are coming true ♡

On a side note: I will have the prettiest flower girl ever! 

Can't wait to see B in her dress!

Toddlers Are Gross

You know, other moms warn you about these things...

I have a very well behaved child. She very much has mommy's clean OCD. She doesn't like to be dirty, she doesn't like clutter, & she doesn't like her stuff dirty.

This is why today's events perplex me...

Today was my day off & hubby-to-be let me sleep in (this never! happens), but he came barreling in the bedroom frantic at 1030 this morning saying he "needed my help". Of course, half asleep, this alarms me. I walk into my daughter's bathroom to see her half naked & covered in her own poop. (Insert annoyed face here)

She was in her room playing quietly, as she typically does after breakfast, & pooped in her pull up. Not something that ever really happens. She's really good about telling someone she has to potty. I guess it was uncomfortable so she either took her pullup off & then played in her poop or she dug it out. Either way, there was my toddler covered in poo & it was all in her carpet.

So glad I bought that Rainbow Cleaning System lol

After cleaning her, the bedroom, the bathroom, the tub, vacuuming, & shampooing the carpet in her room I'm still incredibly grossed out & perplexed.

Why would a little girl as dainty & clean as my pretty little girl decide to play in poo?

She's 2.

That's it?! Oy vey. They keep telling me 3 is worse.

Never a dull day in this household lol

More Reasons Why I'm Crazy About This Man

What a week this has been already! Shave down season is only just beginning & my grooming tools are all in desperate need of sharpening. It's been a madhouse at work & I'm beat. On top of all of that it's almost time to move again!

I came home to a spotless house & flowers just because. Also, hubby-to-be is cooking dinner ♡

I really couldn't ask for a better partner :)

I really can't wait to marry him. (So gross w/ all that cheesyness, I know lol)

Oral Surgery Adventure

I've spent a week in pretty awful pain. I haven't been able to eat for 4 days. I finally had to call into work because my left eye wouldn't stay open (makes it hard to see where you're scissoring and all).

Thomas has been wonderful. He made my appointment, handled all the insurance stuff, took care of B & kept her occupied, drove me to my appointment, drove me home, picked up my prescriptions, & has been pretty amazing.

It's days like today that really make me grateful that someone this amazing wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

Happy & content is a nice place to be :)

Negativity

Negativity is contagious if you let it be.

I'm really trying to be better about not worrying so much from day to day what other people think. I've been accused of being a bad parent so many times, it's hard to keep count. I find, however, those who pass said judgment know nothing of my daughter or our life. They don't see what a sweet, thoughtful, caring, funny, & brilliant little girl I have. If I've learned anything from being a mommy it's that I don't know anything. You think when they're little you have it figured out. Not even close.

My fiancé and I have made a conscience effort to put our daughter first in everything we do. We have taught her manners & we're doing our best to teach her right from wrong. Even though abusing mommy is very much a form of entertainment for my little girl.

I wish I could be a stay at home mom. I wish I could spend all day with my daughter, but I can't. I've never wanted to have to depend on another human being to help me care for my daughter. Since sperm donor abandoned her, I've spent all this time making sure that if she & I ended up alone that she would never ever go without.

I grew up a poor kid. I had no idea until you get to the age that the kids around you make fun of your clothes & hair. Kids can be brutal. I just hope to give her the tools to be independent & strong. Fearless. I don't want her growing up thinking that she's less of a human being because somehow she was born with the wrong parts. I want her to know she can do anything by herself & she doesn't need to be co-dependent. I want her to know what it's like to be her own person.

I learned the hard way many times. I can't protect her from everything. I know that. I just hope to be the kind of mom she doesn't have to hide from. I don't want her to grow up like I did.

I wasn't raised. I wasn't given the tools to survive in this world. I've pretty much learned everything the hard way. I've made probably a million mistakes. I've hurt people I loved. I've been broken & at rock bottom.

My daughter is my life. I'm trying to live everyday to be the person my kid thinks I am. To be the kind of woman my daughter can be proud of. Everyday holds a new lesson & everyday of the rest of my life I'm going to do my best to be a better person.

Less negativity from those who think they know so well who I am, the life I lead, & the mother I am. I'm going to spend more time coloring, dancing, playing, giggling, hiding in forts, cuddling, & loving every beautiful moment of being a mommy.

You can keep attacking me, but your fight isn't with me. I will not concern myself with your demons.

Simple, Really...

The things I want in life are simple: I want to be an amazing mom & wife. I want to make B & Thomas as happy as they make me. I want to work for me & not some suit that can't do my job. I want to be able to take my daughter on adventures. I want a little house with a little yard & our own space.

I feel like for once in my life everything is going up...

Such a far cry from where I came from & who I used to be.

We've come so far & the road is wide open :)

Magic

Everyday this man does something that just keeps making it more & more clear that he's my meant to be :)

2014

So much to do! Wedding in September. Grooming trailer & starting my mobile grooming business with my hubby-to-be.

2013 was crazy. I went from barely scraping by single mom to the man of my dreams helping make all of our dreams come true. He's such a good daddy. B loves him so much. I let someone not worth it convince me I was to blame for his short comings as a man & a father. Thomas picked up the pieces & fell right in. He handles my crazy & keeps me sane. He's my better half in every sense of the term.

I'm not broken. I let go of the drama & moved on with my life. Although, some people just want to drag you down to their level. In the words of Taylor Swift: "You can't lead me down that road. And you don't know what you don't know."

I'm not going to tell you my life is perfect or that I'm always happy & we don't fight. That's silly. It's unrealistic. Also, it would be a lie. We yell. We cry. Then we make up. We're horrible at fighting. Thomas would never ever quit on me. He'll never give up on me because it's hard sometimes. He waits for the storm to clear. He would also never ever abandon B. Ever. He would die for that little girl if he had to.

Life is good. Pretty boring. But good :)

I'm looking forward to being my own boss & being a Mrs!

I wish you all love, luck, & happiness. I hope something magical happens for you this year <3