Negativity

Negativity is contagious if you let it be.

I'm really trying to be better about not worrying so much from day to day what other people think. I've been accused of being a bad parent so many times, it's hard to keep count. I find, however, those who pass said judgment know nothing of my daughter or our life. They don't see what a sweet, thoughtful, caring, funny, & brilliant little girl I have. If I've learned anything from being a mommy it's that I don't know anything. You think when they're little you have it figured out. Not even close.

My fiancé and I have made a conscience effort to put our daughter first in everything we do. We have taught her manners & we're doing our best to teach her right from wrong. Even though abusing mommy is very much a form of entertainment for my little girl.

I wish I could be a stay at home mom. I wish I could spend all day with my daughter, but I can't. I've never wanted to have to depend on another human being to help me care for my daughter. Since sperm donor abandoned her, I've spent all this time making sure that if she & I ended up alone that she would never ever go without.

I grew up a poor kid. I had no idea until you get to the age that the kids around you make fun of your clothes & hair. Kids can be brutal. I just hope to give her the tools to be independent & strong. Fearless. I don't want her growing up thinking that she's less of a human being because somehow she was born with the wrong parts. I want her to know she can do anything by herself & she doesn't need to be co-dependent. I want her to know what it's like to be her own person.

I learned the hard way many times. I can't protect her from everything. I know that. I just hope to be the kind of mom she doesn't have to hide from. I don't want her to grow up like I did.

I wasn't raised. I wasn't given the tools to survive in this world. I've pretty much learned everything the hard way. I've made probably a million mistakes. I've hurt people I loved. I've been broken & at rock bottom.

My daughter is my life. I'm trying to live everyday to be the person my kid thinks I am. To be the kind of woman my daughter can be proud of. Everyday holds a new lesson & everyday of the rest of my life I'm going to do my best to be a better person.

Less negativity from those who think they know so well who I am, the life I lead, & the mother I am. I'm going to spend more time coloring, dancing, playing, giggling, hiding in forts, cuddling, & loving every beautiful moment of being a mommy.

You can keep attacking me, but your fight isn't with me. I will not concern myself with your demons.